The Seeming Paradox

Seeming or pretending is something rather commonm in life. Because we are afraid to reveal our trueselves, at least not right away, we are forced to seem. To present an idealized personality based on our own limited knowledge of the other (person/s)

Let me present an example using an arbirary Jane and John.

When the two meet there are actually 6 people meeting for the first time.

Person A - The persona that John is seeming in order to look presentable to Jane.
Person B - The actually impression Jane has of John's pretend character.
Person C - The actually personality of John which he keeps hidden from fear of rejection by Jane.

Jane has the same 3 personas. Just interpose their names.

Now imagine if they had just presented thier realselves? Then maybe that would have been considerably simplified right? Unfortunately life is more complicated than we want it to be.

For many many reasons we are unable to be just present the honest-to-goodness true-self. Oh well, I guess that's why I trained myself to see past first impressions. I hope others can see past first impressions to.

I just want to point that out, why? because in my one semester or so in Arellano I've met the whole range. I've met a lot of great people here and I'm greatful I saw past the intitial impressions because becoming friends with them has been God's blessing to me.

==========================================

Another interesting paradox.

Guy: This is how I will love girl becuase this is how I know to love.
Girl: I'm not happy because I'm not being loved the way I want to.
Guy: I don't know why girl is so unhappy when I love her so much
Girl: I want him to find out for himself how I want to be loved. HE OWES me that much
Guy: I don't know why our relationship is not working out.
Girl: I want break up with guy because he doesn't love me.

====

Ok, I might have overplayed a little but this is the simplest representation of current problem. [AND NO ITS DOESN"T INVOLVE A GIRL]

The School loves us, obviously everyone loves a winner diba? The school showers us with love. We have tarpaulins, courtesy visits, a chance [read A CHANCE] to ingrate ourselves to the Professors, The possibility of a scholarship. ANd my personal favorite: Free FOOD :D (which I personally appreciate eventhough I'm endlessly embarassed when people point it out. I'm just not used to being to high profile that's all. Its not like I don't like it I'm just to bashful to want to bask in all the glory)

That's all well and good, honestly we DO feel loved, at least I do , It also makes me feel like I should fight all the harder and worker harder to bring glory to the school.

Unfortunately that's not how we want to be loved. [Moot and academic points]
1.) We want to be loved by getting good grades (Obviously this is unethical and frankly I won't want this either)
2.) How about some consideration (That's still a bit unethical and apparently isn't happening either [As Kucil found out]
3.) How about a Scholarship [As Warren so dearly wants] well apparently this was granted and I'm not exactly oppossed.
4.) OK in my case... HOW ABOUT A FULL LOAD OF SUBJECTS????? Nope, I'm slowly losing hope that this will ever be granted *SIGH*

Well 4 obviously is the love I want from the school. It is wierd actually, as if 'they' don't want me to study.

Sad to say I'm really begining to have thoughts about leaving Arellano out of woe for what is happening.

P.S. To whoever is doing this to me, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ARELLANO's NIHL CHANCES are going down the tubes thanks to what ur doing. M Sure the petty satisfaction you are getting more than compensates you for the potential glory we could have won for this school. I really hope you are happy and can sleep at night. OH and I'm not talking about you Little MISS Batch-rep wanna be.

P.P.S. I'm sorry for the way this stupid thing is making me act but I really can't help it. Who do I have to kill to study around here anyway??? [No don't answer that. I'm still trying to avoid a crime involving moral turpitude. Unless you can help me prove insanity as a justifying circumstance. ]