Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus

A new year

2011-01-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,

Please let us get the new SEO project. If we can make it happen, it will wipe out all my money woes.

Please let us do well in the memorial rounds. Yun naman yung mahalaga eh

Semper Fidelis Et Pereat Mundum.

Sana po we can make the thing tommorow work properly :)

And also the one later?

Dearest Marie

2010-12-21T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today

I know things will be ok. We will be friends before and we will be friends again in time. God you're awesome. I'll never stop praying for you and hoping for the best. I sincerely hope what you said is true and we will still be friends many many years from now.

But for now you've (well I've) made myself very lonely (kasi naman ee!!!!) But I will recover. And things will be better.

I have a great (challenging) life after all.

I will pursue my own happiness most likely independent of you. I'll still be part of your life just as you will be part of mine.

I love you very much my dearest daughter. I hope I'll see you again

I love you so much and unconditionally. so much so that I'll let go of this petty emotions so we can be happy together again.

Thy will be done

2010-05-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

Meditation for today (14 May 2010): My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!

Back in my Element

2010-01-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

An omission can be as powerful as an act. (Ask me how)

I was back in my element kanina, it was a wonderful experience to be able to recall what once was, what could have been and what could never be again, EXCUSE ME, what CAN STILL BE (I refer to the Creed btw).

After a bit of overexposure to 'the other place' it seems that other than the dominant colour things are pretty much the same. At least on the surface.

Sniffing the azure tinged air did give my one epiphany.

If I didn't make that faithful choice I would not have grown. Besides I met some very special people along the way. Very special people in deed... and I'm not talking about CT hehe..

It's time to pierce the veil, time for Charles to come out from hiding behind Francis and be a whole person again. A whole person forged in the fires of Katips and steeped in the codes. A survivor nourished by hardihood and woe.

I might as well be dead to the world if I can't be what I really am.

The kayefabe hinders me so greatly that I'm begining to feel like a cheap homoculus.

Say goodbye to who you thought I was. Say hello to the real me. Atenista ko eh, the more I try to hide / suppress it the more frustration wells up inside me. The more I impose a level of mediocrity upon me the deeper my thirst for Magis becomes. The more I try to adapt the more I realize how far I've gone from the truth.

... and if you hate me for it. At least you hate the real me and I'll relish every ounce of it.

Love remains the same.

2010-01-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

Search for it sa Youtube check out Carmina Topacio's cover.

I never thought that I had anymore to give.... here I am without you.

Its been years... but you know what My love for you remains the same as it was in our COCC days (As it should have remained). You remain, Mother, Sister and Daughter to me.

Semper Fidelis 'mate! I'll be rooting for you in 2010

Dear Edlyn,

2010-01-16T08:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Lyn,

I know why you were laughing and only heaven knows the depth of my contempt for the reason... Come on people!!! its been three years I've moved on. Why can't you? Iba na ka love-team nya :((

Did you know this was the reason why I did not come back?

I've made my peace with it.

Love you Eds hope you pass the bar I would dread the idea of taking the bar with you in 2011.

Bad Romance

2009-12-15T10:05:00.001-08:00

I don't to be friends, I want your love.

Now I like La Salle!!!

2009-11-13T11:33:00.001-08:00

Damn Youtube.

I saw someone on youtube and now I want to get inside La Salle daym.

Ang Hindi Pinaghirapan, Hindi Pinanghihinayangan

2009-11-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

(Taken from Hannah Carmela Neri's Blog Dated Aug 2009... just giving credit where its due)

Have you ever felt unappreciated/ underappreciated by a person (let's say, a lover, a close friend, a co-worker, or your boss?)

Have you ever felt like you've given too much...been the best (insert "role" here)- and yet you were rejected, demeaned, abandoned?

Have you become so bitter about unrequited love/ overlooked accomplishments? Maybe you've felt like you gave "too much of yourself", played the martyr, been the altruist. Perhaps we've hated people who didn't love us the way they "should".

Don't you think that perhaps.... you've "shared too much of yourself"?

Are you always available? Always there at every beck and call? Always willing to give everything to that person? Why can't that person appreciate or love you for what you do for them?

Anything in oversupply loses its value.

Anything that is always available, and available in oversupply, even if it is good, loses its value. It is not helpful to have too much, even of a good thing.

An old Tagalog proverb says, "Ang hindi pinaghirapan, hindi pinanghihinayangan."

When a good thing could be had easily, it is not treasured. What you get without much sacrifice, is not given much value. It is often advisable to let others work and even pay, for the privileges you extend to them.

"He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry, even the bitter tastes sweet." (Proverbs 27:7)

Ending the Prescient Dream

2009-10-31T00:35:00.000-07:00

Wake up, its over.

Perhaps its time to finally emerge from my Prescient Dream, its been three semesters and I’m fairly certain that it achieved it’s purpose. I got what I wanted and it no longer serves any value. Its healing virtues have long since expired. Other than consume my swiftly diminishing energies it does nothing.

I am Forensic, I don’t need the Prescient Dream to retain that.

I am ________, I was already that long before I came here. But the Dream forces me to hide it. I'll unveil it once again.

I am _______, even the Dream can't disguise it.

I am something else, and it will end with the loss of the Dream. But I begrudge not the loss.

I am already hale and hardy, I don’t need any proofs or laurels to know that.

It’s time to lose the Prescient Dream. This is Arellano after all, one of the most cosmopolitan (at least on the surface) communities I’ve ever known. Seeming is simply unbecoming of me.

It’s time to fire up the old engines and revive the old programming.

It’s time to wake up from my long rest and get back on track.

And if I’ve clawed myself back to full consciousness you are with me, then I will cherish you all the more.

P.S. Missing You.

Thank You for the Music.

2009-10-31T00:18:00.001-07:00

I know you’ll never see this but I’ll say it anyway.

Thank You for the Music.

Just as your other songs have fuelled me in my moments of deep desolation, I’ll take this one with me to the next stage of my life.

Even if it doesn’t do what its supposed to do. I will still cherish it most of all. It is my song, not meant for MTV, not dedicated to someone else, mine. My song.

It is my song because you wrote it for me (with my help). It’s my song because it contains a rare distillate of the unadulterated truth. I even helped play it.

Sigh…

Come what may, perdition be my fate. Thank you for this.

P.S. I’m still waiting for the mp3 version 

LENTE

2009-10-31T00:00:00.001-07:00

Do or die people LENTE is coming to Arellano on November 14, 2009.

After more than 6 months of false starts, storms, the bar and other delays, its all systems Go! Go! Go!

I have a non-me Chairpersons to take over the position. We’ll be doing advertising and booth work starting enrollment.

Finally, we can bring the LEgal Network for Truthful Elections to our school. Who knows maybe Arellano volunteers can actually make a difference in the coming elections?

October 27, 2009

2009-10-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Wow some title huh?

Point is we had a Forensic dinner that night. And it was my last exam. Its funny but even if Forensics numbers were but a shadow of its former self, I always preferred quality over quantity.

FIVE, LIMA, GO, SINKO. That’s our entire rank and file ATM.

Not that it really matters. We have mother Hayz, Baby Girl, Baby D and some insurance marketer. Then we have a half-extinguished spirit of fire. Oh wait we also have um… ‘Benefactors’. Hopefully we can pull off a major marketing campaign and recruit new members… Trust me, if I’m still around next sem… we will definitely need more people.

Come what may I love these people. They give me hope that perhaps my dreams can still come true.

Dinner, then drinks, we should definitely do that again.

A reflection from the Palatir.

2009-07-21T07:16:00.001-07:00

Love, so I'm told, is an extremely powerful emotion; it can be irresistible and people are often bound to pursue their love interests. It usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person.

When not reciprocated love is an obsession, it is destructive and will ultimately lead you down the road to perdition.

When forlorn it can lead to some very impressive displays of heroism.

Love entails as certain level of mutuality, fidelity and respect for one another. It is also predicated, usually, by honesty and transparency. When these prerequisites are lacking, I don’t know what you call it.

But enough about “Love”, its prelims time and I for one am bent on regaining my old self. Tomorrow I’ll find out if I can finally, after almost 3 years, move on or if I’m still stuck in my crazy (though thoroughly entertaining) prescient dream.

I will not backdown.

2009-06-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

To All members of the Arellano Law Forensic Guild, and by extension the Arellano Community, (I guess)

This has been shaping up to be a hell of year. I'd know I've been at the Vanguard of everything.

Warren has left us as do many esteemed members who are now about to take the bar. Good luck to you. May you pass and come back here to teach us some more :)

Quite a few of our most competent members are now committed elsewhere.

I can promise you this though, whatever my other commitments are you are my primordial concern. Although I trust that you need no reassurance of that.

Well, interestingly enough we find ourselves in an fascinating situation right now. Is it impossible? Perhaps, no one in our community has ever attempted this before although I must aver that this is because no one has dared to try in the past. I haven't the luxury to be intimidated. Not that I am since we've seen what we are capable of when we work together.

Over a year ago I made a promise to this organization and I asked for you commitment likewise. This is my dream and I think you know how hard I fought and continue to fight for my dreams.

Tommorow might not come, by then it will be to late

2009-05-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Francis speaks on May 20, 2009 0045 Hours.

Later we are going to debate a matter of Transcendental National Importance. LIBRT Naturalized Citizens should be eligible for all elective offices. Wow this is SOOO important to the nation. Come one people as if anyone would actually elect a naturalized Filipino even if they wanted to.

This is a country where knee-jerk nationalism is the name of the game. We beat our breasts in indigations when the Greek-English dictionary defined Filipina as Domestic helper. Yet we, as a people, are responsible for creating the conditions that force our people to become overseas Filipino workers. We scoff at those who speak in English, we brand them conyo and accuse them of colonial mentality. Then we are appalled that barristers flunk becuase of poor english comprehension. We turn a blind eye on the fact that one of our fastests growing industries in Manila is the so-called "Last Minute Coaching" for Nursing board exam takers. Have we forgotten that most of those Nurse aspirants will take those exams with dreams of nursing Americans, Canadians or Europeans?

I expect that people will applaud hollow paens to Nationalism and at the same time ignore the true spirit behind it. To be Nationalistic is to advocate the fulfillment of your Nation. To be Nationalistic is the burdened right of EVERY Filipino.

I should stop before I recite the Panatang Makabayan :))

This debate will be forced communication.

This debate will be the first step in the rough road that leads to the Stars. (Ad Astra Per Aspera)In altum vola the second time around (hopefully).

Be that as it may, Hayz, Ervin and I are tasked with advocating this motion.

We can not always choose who or what we must advocate. But we can always choose how zealously we advocate.

I am appealing to the Arellano Community to please pray for us. I know you all expect much of us. Know that we will do our uttermost to fulfill ur expectations. [And hopefully win ;)]

Whatever happens later is God's Will.

All I can hope for is that my deeds tommorow will be for
His greater glory.

>

Desires

2009-05-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

A wise woman once told me that the key to contentment in life is to stoping wanting. The more you want the more you are frustrated when you can't have what you want. After all, the old adage 'You can't have everything' applies to me as much as the next guy. In other words, one of the lynchpins of happiness is to desire only what you can realisitically have.

THEN WHY THE HELL DO I STLL WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE? Why do I covet what can never be mine?

Oh I know! I can blame my family for imposing utterly unreasonable expectations on me. and believe me this particular expecation was WAY unreasonable from the start. I'm not the only one whose's heartbroken over this.

I can blame facebook for messing up a very important aspect of my life (that I can keep my different worlds seperate). Today two parts of my life came crashing together in a most undesirable way. After today my life will never be the same again. I hope the one who caused it is very, very, very happy. But I forgive her, she does not yet realize the harm she caused.

I can also blame myself, because of late I've been very, very frustrated...

But It's alright, It's OK. I'm so much better _______ ___ :D

The last few days

2009-05-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Over the last few days, I've met the people who have defined the last ten years of my life. Its almost amazing how different those stages of my life had been. Maybe I really am a doppelganger like I always claimed.

For starters, my first trip of the day was to visit my old haunts in Katipunan. A couple of old friends were invited to my sister's birthday party. Well that was interesting, Facebook makes connecting to people easier than ever. Since they haven't been to my place in years I was dragooned into shepherding them to La Loma. Regrettably prior appointments got in the way and I wound up being a delivery guy instead of a shepherd. Still seeing them is always good a remind of my Loyola School days.

As a result I was running around Greenhills with a pink balloon and more bags than I had arms. April, who I met for the first time, must have gotten a very weird impression of me. In my defense I was totally stressed out in um, hostile territory, plus I was having an insane time since that was the first time that my old High School barkada had been infiltrated by a foreign element. Well... as of press time my friends are in their respective happy places. Lance is showing his true grit and Chinese smarts being all bussinessdude-like back in his home province. Paolo is doing well too. Heck I'm not doing so bad either. Even Mia has a nice cushy job. Is it just me or did we all actually improve with age?

We definitely have gone a long way from our geeky HS pursuits. We still have fond memories of those days and frankly we'd love to dive back into our old lives but reality dictates that we had to move on. Still we managed to set a boys night out. Daym, do I have to wear my glasses to complete my look?

On Monday I'm meeting someone to discuss a matter of transcendental national importance, a matter that for better or worse will begin to resolve itself on May 20. I hope she had a lot of rest where she came from because she's in for a firestorm. That's right people, Hayz is back and she's on the ANC team :) . Plus we have a couple of 'lesser' competitions coming up in the next couple of months.

SCeeing - (v.) hanging out in the SC office pretty much the whole day. I've been doing that a lot lately. Well things are moving at the SC about as well as can be expected. We are becoming regular fixtures in that little room but then that's to be expected because ahem, you already know why. Our little Starbucks club has really gone a long way... in more ways that one. However, political success apparently comes at the exclusion of other forms of fulfillment. Although I'm just speaking for myself.

At the end of this day I go to bed and wonder how I should feel. Co'z, the last ten years of my life just flashed in front of me and I can't believe those years were lived by the same person. Plus I’ve got something on my plate that is altogether overwhelming…

Summer

2009-04-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Its been a while,

I just spent the evening teaching something I know next to nothing about. Got that strange feeling of being the one-eyed guy leading the blind.

But you know what they say; in the land of the blind the cyclops is King!

Oh yeah Shout out to madame prime in Cebu

Life imitates farce - Richard Gephardt

2009-03-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

*N.B. While webcrawling for this saturday's um... 'exercise' I ran into this pretty compelling stuff in light of recent developments...
_________
Mr. Speaker and members of the House, I stood on this floor yesterday and implored all of us to say that the politics of slash-and-burn must end. I implored all of you that we must turn away from the politics of personal destruction and return to the politics of values.

It is with that same passion that I say to all of you today that the gentleman from Louisiana, Bob Livingston, is a worthy and good and honorable man.

I believe his decision to retire is a terrible capitulation to the negative forces that are consuming our political system and our country.

And I pray with all my heart that he will reconsider this decision.

Our founding fathers created a system of government of men, not of angels. No one standing in this House today can pass a Puritanical test of purity that some are demanding that our elected leaders take.

If we demand that mere mortals live up to this standard, we will see our seats of government lay empty, and we will see the best, most able people unfairly cast out of public service.

We need to stop destroying imperfect people at the altar of an unobtainable morality.

We need to start living up to the standards which the public, in its infinite wisdom, understands that imperfect people must strive towards, but too often fall short.

We are now rapidly descending into a politics where life imitates farce. Fratricide dominates our public debate and America is held hostage to tactics of smear and fear.

Let all of us here today say no to resignation, no to impeachment, no to hatred, no to intolerance of each other, and no to vicious self-righteousness.

We need to start healing. We need to start binding up our wounds. We need to end this downward spiral which will culminate in the death of representative democracy.

I believe this healing can start today by changing the course we've begun.

This is exactly why we need this today to be bipartisan. This is why we ask the opportunity to vote on a bipartisan censure resolution, to begin the process of healing our nation and healing our people.

We are on the brink of the abyss. The only way we stop this insanity is through the force of our own will.

The only way we stop this spiral is for all of us to finally say -- enough.

Let us step back from the abyss and let's begin a new politics of respect and fairness and decency which raises what has come before.

May God have mercy on this Congress and may Congress have the wisdom and the courage and the goodness to save itself today.

ANC round 2?

2009-03-12T07:58:00.001-07:00

There will be no Warren. The monkey will take the bar this summer (hindi po pwede ang barista? )

In all likelihood there will be no Kucil. Let mother focus on taking her review subjects.

Likewise there will be no Francis. I don't know the events of the past sem have left me unsettled / distressed in a way I can't describe.

I don't know if I can muster the same level of elan and bravado that I had last year.

I don't know if I can muster the energy I had last year

I don't know if I can

I don't know

I don't even know if I should.

P.S. Of course I know I'm just not willing to admit it to myself just yet.

The World's a playground.

2009-03-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

The World's a playground. You knew that when you're a kid but somewhere along the line everyone forgets it.

I've been carrying that around in my Facebook for a while I think. So bloody true, for my part I've forgotten that it is a playground, my playground. Lately I've been complicating life with too many concerns when in fact in the end I only have one true concern at this point; The bar.

Hard to admit but beyond that miserable eye-of-a-needle sieve called the bar all other concerns seem minute and secondary.

God knows I've meet enough barristers who are worried about thier chances at the bar to know that not even the most arrogant and self-deluded can take the bar foregranted.

Am I ready for the bar? Obviously not!
Will I be ready by 2011? Not at the rate I'm going!

That being said I need to take this whole law school gig a bit more seriously.

That being said as well, I need to get back to my 1st sem mentality.

Law School is like politics and love.

a.) Expect only that which you yourself are willing to give.
b.) Giving does not mean you will receive.
c.) The important thing is to enjoy what you are doing
d.) or if you aren't enjoying it at least know why you are still doing it
e.) cape lucum et fac vestigium

To whom it may concern,

2009-02-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

!Usted ha ganado mi respecto
Espero ganarle de usted un día!

Semper Fidelis ka na rin.

It's the Year of the Ox,

2009-01-25T09:29:00.000-08:00

Since I can't decide which spelling is appropriate Kung Hei Fat Choi!!!

A new year always brings new tidings. Or at least its supposed to :)

Anyway it does. Once more I am challenged to transcend my often self-imposed limitations.

Warren, knows what I'm talking about... What the heck is a reply speech? dude if you do it next week it will be the first time I'll see one. And I'm supposed to be a 'veteran'.

If you're definition of veteran is someone who got shot at, then I'm that! But if you mean an experienced hardy and capable trooper... Well I don't think so.

Well its not impossible. I won't be overconfident but I won't be a doubting Thomas either. I will exercise due dilligence and hopefully whoever else I get paired with will do so as well.

Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snow. LOL.

The year of the Ox is a travelling year for me too. I don't know yet. But from the looks of things I'll be making at least two out of the country trips this year. I like travelling so that bodes well for me.

SO much to do. So bloody much to do. I have no idea why I spent today the way I did. I must have really lost my mind [at last].

Hopefully the winds of change will find me in better shape to do my singular imperative: STUDY FOR THE MIDTERMS!!!

Good luck to all people taking thier midterms.

I'll say one Salve Regina for your intentions people (For most of you that will be grades no wouldn't it?]

Because its 7AM, I haven't slept and I'm still studying

2009-01-19T15:23:00.000-08:00

Grabbed from Trish Cruz. It's a tug at your heartstrings.
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------

From page 100 of Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood".

“… So I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I was still in elementary school at that time — fifth or sixth grade — but I made up my mind once and for all.”

“Wow,” I said. “And did your search pay off?”

“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.“

“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.

“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”

“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”

“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”

“So then what.”

“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”

In Memoriam

2009-01-18T15:25:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was at Ecom together with the usual suspect: Kucil. We were joined by Trissy, MJ and Victor. Nothing much out of the ordinary there, we were law students; at one point or another we would have to study. Actually they studied, I had to read up on these wierd journals.

What made this night memorable was becasue I saw Krizna and Patring again. Both of them were from AHRC. Excluding the odd picture on facebook I haven't seen Patring / Tricia since my Rockwell days. Krizna I was fortunate enough to meet again when we both went to the Holy Week Missions last year. For what it's worth they looked like fourth year students about to take their last mid-term exams in law school. Congratulations to the both of you!, WON that's a compliment it entirely up to your interpretation. Actually it is, congrats indeed. Not everyone can get where you are now.

Krizna was the head of the Mr. Law School Committee back '07. I did marketing and logistics work for that event. Oh I also did my traditional role of 'taga-tagay' for some reason I have an attachment to being the person handing out the beer and ice tea.

After Mr. Law School I asked Krizna " 'wag mo ko kakalimutan." The reason for that was because two weeks later AHRC was going to have its interviews for its Summer Internship Program. Most of the Mr. Law School Committee people were from AHRC, I thought it was a good idea to get to know the people I'd end up with for the summer. Sadly, I never got to join that org.

Oh, about AHRC I never could decide w/n I wanted to join for the right reasons or the 'wrong reason'. Hence, I never got around to doing so. AHRC stirs up almost as many memories as ASIL.

True enough, Krizna still remembers me. For that I'm glad. Thanks Krizna, perhaps we'll see each other again on Missions. With luck, we might even see each other in court.

Francis Speaks...

2009-01-12T16:20:00.001-08:00

This blog is called Francis speaks...ok Francis Speak... heh.

Last night I sort of made up for lost time with part of my family. My former mother now sister Rochelle and I spent practically the whole night at this SB near MOA doing what we do best... Pretending to study and well doing stuff that we normally would not have done if we hadn't come together. Now if only my other sisters could have come too... Kiev? Hayz? meh.

Kucil is sort of "former mother" for two reasons;
First she's no longer ALFG's Prime Minister / President (That um... August distinction now redounds upon Hayz) hence I no longer have any complusion to follow or obey her commands. LOL I respect the position not the person =)) Just kidding mom :P

Second, It might not be immediately obvious but I've actually matured a lot since I waltz into Arellano back on 14 June 2008. A week later I was delivering an extemporaneous spech on everything from Bush, Republican-Democrat dynamics, The redundancy of the UN security council and Ces Drillon!

Unbelievably Forensic got me to deliver another one last saturday. I hate you guys... no matter what you say I'm a mooter not a debater. I forbid it unless I can do both :P

But given my new Job Description trying to do all would be an exercise in futility... Yes the guy who never showed up at the ofc is suddenly a bundy clock / consultant hybrid! You people will regret putting me in the Psychometrics department... believe me you will :P LOL

I mean don't put a crazy guy in charge of supervising the crazy guy detection department!!! But until the others come back from N-Zed (New Zealand) I am officially the "Lord Ur god", the most senior monkey in the Kooky monkey dept.

Going back... before my little office adventures got me distracted. Hard to believe but I'm not the same creature. My recon-mode is no longer necessary since I already know pretty much what I need to know about Are's environs. I know who I can trust and with what. Ok, Francis Philopater time to be yourself, at least around family.

I mean the debate... that crazy ANC debate has spawned such incredible change that I wonder if it wasn't the Delta Aoulis shoved down my throat by God because he decided I was being to complacent with life... God! so much for a high-speed low-drag and lower profile... Still it's a good thing people know me... and that makes me a jerk because I need to hussle and know them! stop being a snob playa!

Funny for a person who can remember the silliest things (Orange and the 27th any one?) I'm sure bad at memorizing names. Good thing there's facebook. Thank God for people who take the time to Tag pictures :P

Then there is Arellano Law Forensic Guild. Mom, Kiev, Hayz and the rest. When we come together possibilities open up. Now if only studies and work can stop getting in the way.

I'm actually the treasurer now, although it should be treasureless hehe. Kiev is General Secretary or was it Secretary General. And of course Hayz is the new President / Prime Minister/ Fuhrer / Kaiser / Tzarina / Dominatrix (Female form of Dominatus or Overlord) / Imperator / Pricepes / Strategos / Sayyad'ina (Revered Mother). Oh boy!

Hayz, Kiev and I are now a rulling triumverate LOL. Together we will chart out the next course of action. [Personally I don't particularly mind where that path will be so long as it is one where I can compete :))] Between the three of us and the new troops nothing> can stop us. Now if only nothing would stop hanging around at the office...

Kucil has stepped down as Prime Minister / Treasureless / Secretary General / Mother to Forensic. We are no longer under her parental authority. Sis thanks for everything!!! Most especially your friendship, the Espresso Solo and of course the 'Crusier!!!

THE Forensic party (Part 2) inter alia

2009-01-04T21:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, after almost two weeks I get back to this topic.

Actually I haven't got much to add to it. It was fun and yet another reminder that the old life is over. There ain't no turning back, this is who I am now. The past now seems like just a bitter-sweet memory.

I wonder where the next party will be?

Well the party's over and its time to buckle down to work. A lot of parties are over and it is literally as in I'm in the office right now debating w/n to do more work or try to do some school work.

PUBCORP digest 28 or 14 depending on who you ask. Are they really going to be worth the effort? I dunno considering I haven't even bothered to start despite the fact that people have been wondering about it since last saturday.

Sige na nga, Some effort must be expended after all I can't be party of ALFG if I'm not part of Arellano Law. And I seriously doubt I can stay in Arellano law if I keep up this substandard lazy ass attitude.

Besides... I need to snap out of this dull reality and get back to my prescient dream. Come to think of it... Meybe I'll just sleep a while and wake up ready to go. Or maybe I'll wake up and realize my digests did not write themselves?

R.I.P. OLGM (????-2007)

2008-12-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since it happened.

Our Lord's Grace Montessori (Formerly Our Lady of Grace Montessori) the place I went to grade school is no more.

When Jared told me it had closed down sometime May 2007 I thought Ok no biggie. I was too busy with life (read: LAW SCHOOL + Asia Cup) to be too concerned.

Now 19 months fast forward the reality has begun to sink in. Thanks to a friend of mine who lives out in Farview... este Fairview I've had a chance to pass Marcos Highway where my school was. Last time I saw it was just last monday 28 Dec 08. The buildings still looked intact except the perimeter had G.I. sheets on them. Apparently they began tearing it tearing it down in earnest yesterday. Supposedly the lot is going to be made into an SM.

Thanks to this guy KiiBeeN, who apparently is the brother of my GS batchmate, for posting videos of the demolition.

Somehow I feel a bit grieved at the loss of this school. I mean, I had a lot of happy memories and lots of not so good ones as well. Over all it was an ok place. Sure I could have asked for a more.. um.. challenging regimen for my GS but hey I liked the place.

OLGM was a pioneer in many ways. We had computers and typing class. To this day I'm still a 60-70 WPM typist because of our training which started as early as 1st grade. We also had HELE (Home Education and Livelihood Education) classes which were pretty old school but fun. How many Manila Private Schools can boasts that they taught thier GS kids farming, tocino making, carpentry and cooking? LOL. Then there was the pool, we had swimming classes there and I think that was one way I kept my weight down in grade school.

Anyway its gone. By the time anyone checks it out after reading this OLGM will probably look like any other demolition site. No nostalgic walks down memory lane for me. At least not for Grade School. Funny, its been 11 years (1997) since I graduated. I've never really bothered to look back. Until now.

Anybody here from OLGM?

I'd better go to Learning Tree soon and check it out before Teacher Francie decides to close that down too :(.

Just a little something I wanted to post

2008-12-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

"Let me strive every moment of my life to make myself better and better, to the best of my ability, that all may profit by it. Let me think of the right and lend all my assistance to those who need it, with no regard for anything but justice. Let me take what comes with a smile, without loss of courage. Let me be considerate of my country, of my fellow citizens and my associates in everything I say and do. Let me do right to all, and wrong no man."

Makes a nice new years resolution doesn't it?

THE Forensic Chrismas Party part 1

2008-12-20T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'll keep this short because its 6am and I have a 9am class and I'm still awake!!! I need to get even an hour or two of sleep no way I'm showing up for a three hour class after being awake since 4am the previous day (Misa de Gallo)

It was our Christmas party for ALFG.

Most of the Forensic family was there... Kucil, Kiev, Hazel, Me, LJ, MJ, even TJ was there. So was a trio of Forensic Lawyers; Russel, Maggie and Raul. Kiev even brought some of her friends from college to complete the mix. Oh and I also brought one of my college buddies; Julian. (Thanks for the Clubbing 101 lessons Bro, remind me to put you on the Permanent List when I get to own my own club.)

Noticably absent was Patty (for reasons we already know). quite a few others weren't there... I'm sure they have amusing excuses (right JP, Lid???)

Damn that was fun. I'm getting better at this... I think... at any rate I think I've learned to loosen up a lot more thanks in part to my bro being there... (what can I say... nothing like a bit of the familiar to help me feel at home right?)

Anyway.. I'll say this much... the year (for me since I'll likely spend the next week or so in the province) ended with a blast... absolutely no regrets... Everything is as it should be according to God's plan... (if not mine)

For that I am happy and at peace.

I think I made the right choice. (even if TJ thinks I regret of it)

Edit: Spelling errors

A new leaf

2008-12-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

It's bad enough that I've been able to endure ignoring the counsel of the years. Perhaps the things of my youth have been too precious to concede. So greatly do I esteem the things of my youth that I cling to such obsolete notions long after their true value has since been ground to dust.

I always knew that my spirit was strong enough to endure tumult from certain fronts... But weak on other fronts. This I can not afford. An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred. As I was taught... weakness can not be tolerated. If uncovered it will be used against you.

Dark imaginings now that's something I'm good at... maybe I'm just fatigued and lonely?

No I'm not. I'm a bit chargrined but I'm hale and, mostly, hardy.

In my defense it has never been so imperative before... living in an ivory tower has a way of shielding you from the realities of life... kaya nga nag call center diba?... Plus my 'inherent' survivability makes me less than willing to adopt change. C'mon I survived 23 years already... why fix what ain't (I thought) broken? But my time in Arellano taught me much. The fundamental imperatives of my da sein have changed but they are no less imperative.

I thank whatever gods maybe for my unconquerable soul... but maybe its time I showed the world just how unconquerable my soul is...

Did not Aristotle say that a hidden virtue is no virtue at all?

Therefore, a hidden vice is not a vice either...

Ergo, if one hides his vices and virtues he winds up with being an empty person.

Seeming doesn't make much sense anymore...

Mother / Sis / Kucil ... I'm sorry...

P.S. I am Desiderata... I will do what is necessary.

The Emperor's New Clothes

2008-12-13T16:16:00.003-08:00

"The Emperor is naked." Said the little boy.

Only the little boy had the courage and innocence to speak the truth.

The Emperor is still naked. But at least he'll go looking for clothes now.

THANK YOU

2008-12-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

Hi,

I can never thank you enough, it's amazing how a few choice words from you can renew my (self) broken spirit. It is equally amazing how quickly my downward spiral began and how quickly it almost brought me to the brink. Wow, I never imagined I could be still so vulnerable.

But no matter you have restored my elan and rekindled the fire in my heart. For that I am most grateful.

Once more I am

'Onen i-Estel Edian, u-chebin estel anim'

Semper Fidelis

Chichiri mode is definately off. The next time you people see me I'll be the same genuinely happy Francis you first met on June 18, 2008 :D [that's the date of the txt I sent to Hazel asking if I could still join Forensic. That's the little txt that sent me on a leap of faith that brought me here. :D]

A little lesson from the Avatar

2008-12-06T00:13:00.000-08:00

Hi Feanor here, :Wave:

I just finished an Avatar the Last Airbender Marathon. I'm ashamed to say that's how I burned me 4 day break from law school. I can't help it. I was in a Man who can't be move mode for a few days. Oh well.

Anyway, my favorite character there was Prince Zuko. To the uninitiated, he was the prince of the fire nation and he was banished for speaking out of turn at a council of war meeting. He was told that the only way restore his honor was to capture the Avatar. The Avatar who was lost 100 years ago. To make a long story short, most of the first 40 or so episodes of Avatar are about Zuko pursuing the Avatar with fanatic zeal. After all that was the only way he could restore his honor.

Eventually, he succeeded in "killing" the Avatar (together with his sister they succeed in delivering a mortal blow). He is returned to the Fire Nation with full honors. He is restored to his exalted place as crown prince. Basically he gets everything he ever wanted. But he was unhappy.

Later he betrays his father and joins the Avatar... to make a long story short (again ... hey its a 60 episode series... I definitely have to summarize a lot...:P ) They won. The fire lord is defeated... Everyone lives happily ever after. The end. :))

Well not the end; his soliloquy (tama ba naman may soliloquy ang mga character sa Avatar.) was his speech about honor.

"Honor is not about positions or ranks or how other people esteem you. Honor is about doing the right thing!"

Funny, in a way I suffered the same fate as Zuko.

I also learned as he did that honor is not about the silly notions of how people esteem you. Hehe... I should know, I've tarps hanging all over school for quite a while now in testament to a piece of past glory from 2 months ago.

I'm not about pride and boasting... not anymore. My pride and dignity have to come from myself. In a way it does.

Hard to believe but the spirit of fire who said almost 3 years ago that I would finish law in Ateneo or Die trying is still alive and still trying to finish law school.... :D

Harder to believe but I've learned to live without so many of the things that I used to hold so dear in life.

But the hardest thing to believe is that I can be so unhappy despite the fact that virtually everything is in place!!!

WHAT THE HECK DO I WANT ANYWAY???

Right now I don't know... I really don't know.

Right now I just want to stop and float across the Nile.

History Repeats itself?!?

2008-12-05T23:53:00.000-08:00

Does history really repeat itself???

I don't know. But right now it seems to be doing so.

Sorry to the people who are close to me, you might be getting a whiff of my current state of depression. Don't worry, normally I can keep my Chichiri mode (Smiling mask ) on until such time as I can really smile authentically again. Pardon me for the times when the mask doesn't work... (SIGH)

I can't help it. Today is my friend's 23rd birthday. Though we don't talk much anymore our common history and the reason we are linked will endure forever. Until, such time as we can both get closure for what happened. Don't worry Peng Yu when the time comes I'll deal with him personally for he did to you. hehehe.. I'm not bitter, and I'm sorry for happened to us. All I can promise is that I won't make the same mistakes again.

Only a fool does things the same way and expects a different result.

Only a greater fool openly believes he will get a different result while doing exactly the same thing.

The greatest fool is one who believes the world will change and adopt to his peculiarities if he does the same thing a second time.

History won't repeat itself if I am vigilant. However I am far from vigilant right now. ARGH!!!

I need a break. Forget the Prelims I'm going to visit the Light and Water and try to find bearings again

To Hazel,

2008-11-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I failed you

Hazel L. Helmuth

2008-11-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry,

I was too sleepy and too wrapped up in my own stress yesterday to be of much use. (Kucil knows this, prolly why she knocked off yesterday's practice)

But let me shining guard (pic above) and my prayers be yours tonight.

Today, despite fever, nausea and a really bad cold I'm ready to fight.

Fear not the 'others' they too had thier tumults, they too will have thier triumphs. But I say to thee they will not be at our expense.

Especially do not fear the Ivory Tower, for did we not ourselves hail from them? By sheer force of our will shall we not have recompense?

Though sun may fail and moon be dead. Let it not be said that the Arellano's NIHL Moot Court team was craven, that it stood alone against the tides of fate, that it was NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

To begin with we had the courage to stand where no others dared. Or should I say, we alone were chosen [I reserve my protest!].

We were not alone, Forensic, Our Friends and Arellano as a whole are behind us in this quest.

Remember, fear is a mind killer, fear is the little death that brings about total obliteration. Bear in mind your fear kills me too... Co'z if you go I go. If you die I die. We are in this together. We win our lose our fates are now bound.

As to not good enough... well let the morrow be our judge.

Have a little faith in me now. Put a little trust in me somehow. Have a little faith in yourself now. Put a little trust in yourself somehow.

Eternity lies ahead of us... and beyond...

All that remains is to reach out sieze our destiny.

Ad Astra Per Aspera

I should really learn to close my big mouth.

2008-11-25T21:14:00.000-08:00

I should really learn to close my big mouth sometimes.

God knows what I might blurt out next time.

I had a really close call yesteday. Still it doesn't matter. My plans are still all set and I'm ready to fight for that which I believe should be mine.

Kyrie Eliason.

P.S. Fiat Iustitia, ruat Coelum

The Seeming Paradox

2008-11-21T04:36:00.000-08:00

Seeming or pretending is something rather commonm in life. Because we are afraid to reveal our trueselves, at least not right away, we are forced to seem. To present an idealized personality based on our own limited knowledge of the other (person/s)

Let me present an example using an arbirary Jane and John.

When the two meet there are actually 6 people meeting for the first time.

Person A - The persona that John is seeming in order to look presentable to Jane.
Person B - The actually impression Jane has of John's pretend character.
Person C - The actually personality of John which he keeps hidden from fear of rejection by Jane.

Jane has the same 3 personas. Just interpose their names.

Now imagine if they had just presented thier realselves? Then maybe that would have been considerably simplified right? Unfortunately life is more complicated than we want it to be.

For many many reasons we are unable to be just present the honest-to-goodness true-self. Oh well, I guess that's why I trained myself to see past first impressions. I hope others can see past first impressions to.

I just want to point that out, why? because in my one semester or so in Arellano I've met the whole range. I've met a lot of great people here and I'm greatful I saw past the intitial impressions because becoming friends with them has been God's blessing to me.

==========================================

Another interesting paradox.

Guy: This is how I will love girl becuase this is how I know to love.
Girl: I'm not happy because I'm not being loved the way I want to.
Guy: I don't know why girl is so unhappy when I love her so much
Girl: I want him to find out for himself how I want to be loved. HE OWES me that much
Guy: I don't know why our relationship is not working out.
Girl: I want break up with guy because he doesn't love me.

====

Ok, I might have overplayed a little but this is the simplest representation of current problem. [AND NO ITS DOESN"T INVOLVE A GIRL]

The School loves us, obviously everyone loves a winner diba? The school showers us with love. We have tarpaulins, courtesy visits, a chance [read A CHANCE] to ingrate ourselves to the Professors, The possibility of a scholarship. ANd my personal favorite: Free FOOD :D (which I personally appreciate eventhough I'm endlessly embarassed when people point it out. I'm just not used to being to high profile that's all. Its not like I don't like it I'm just to bashful to want to bask in all the glory)

That's all well and good, honestly we DO feel loved, at least I do , It also makes me feel like I should fight all the harder and worker harder to bring glory to the school.

Unfortunately that's not how we want to be loved. [Moot and academic points]
1.) We want to be loved by getting good grades (Obviously this is unethical and frankly I won't want this either)
2.) How about some consideration (That's still a bit unethical and apparently isn't happening either [As Kucil found out]
3.) How about a Scholarship [As Warren so dearly wants] well apparently this was granted and I'm not exactly oppossed.
4.) OK in my case... HOW ABOUT A FULL LOAD OF SUBJECTS????? Nope, I'm slowly losing hope that this will ever be granted *SIGH*

Well 4 obviously is the love I want from the school. It is wierd actually, as if 'they' don't want me to study.

Sad to say I'm really begining to have thoughts about leaving Arellano out of woe for what is happening.

P.S. To whoever is doing this to me, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ARELLANO's NIHL CHANCES are going down the tubes thanks to what ur doing. M Sure the petty satisfaction you are getting more than compensates you for the potential glory we could have won for this school. I really hope you are happy and can sleep at night. OH and I'm not talking about you Little MISS Batch-rep wanna be.

P.P.S. I'm sorry for the way this stupid thing is making me act but I really can't help it. Who do I have to kill to study around here anyway??? [No don't answer that. I'm still trying to avoid a crime involving moral turpitude. Unless you can help me prove insanity as a justifying circumstance. ]

Back from the Mini-Slump

2008-11-20T15:23:00.000-08:00

I must admit that the whole mess-up with my classes has gotten me down for the past couple of days. Who wouldn't? I have a three year plan and going underload... THIS underload is really not conductive to finishing anytime within the century. Well after spending half the week bewailing it I guess its time to climb out of this silly hole and get back to running my life.

Three things brought me out of this slump.

First: I thought God/The World/Arellano must really hate me for giving me a pathetic 12 units. For some that's actually a dream come true.

I can't really complain about the futility of the nauseating number of adding forms because my 5 adding forms (with many many denials) is not really that much worse than 6 adding forms (though that friend of mine finally got a decent 20 unit load). So with a, not so heavy heart, I passed ANOTHER adding form. Let's Justice be done... I hope... :)

[EDIT: Make that Six with a stern 'warning' that I should not add more subjects!!!]

Second: I can't really afford to be this way. Too much is at stake. Hazel is working overtime to make things happen on her end... The least I could do was reciprocate her level of dedication and tenacity. We won't lose, at least not with out a fight. Hazel I made a promise to you: WE WILL DO OUR BEST and LET GOD TAKE CARE OF THE REST. I'm not ready to renege on my word.

Madam Prime I given you my oath and I swore not lightly. It will be done even if I have to break the world to do it.

Third: I love this school, specifically the people. Two nights ago I lost my phone. People were honestly concerned and helped me to find my phone. I found it, Thanks be to God, but what really stirred my heart was how they actually cared. They tried to help despite the evident futility of my crisis.

If I screw up the NIHL, not only will I get petty revenge for this petty oppression I'm receiving but I will also let these people down. They were so happy when we won. I really don't feel like disappointing them regardless of how stupid things are getting.

I want to study. Is that too much to ask?

You want me to moot? Then give me the security of a decent load of subjects

You want us to win? Then at least treat me like a normal student

P.S. I'm sorry for the way I have been acting. I'm pretty disappointed with my actions lately. Thank you for understanding.

It's kind of funny

2008-11-18T06:37:00.000-08:00

On Nov 27, 2008 we re going to PLM to compete for the NIHL Moot Court.

Right now, I just don't care.

Someone just succeeded in ruining my mood altogther. Whoever you are (as if I don't know) thank you very much!

I hate this part of me, but right now I can't help it. I'm too pissed and chargrined to even begin to think of moot court.

Moving on,

I've been a good little student. Is a decent load of subjects too much to ask? apparently, yes.

Because of that and the damage to my plans its going to cause my not gonna be surprised if I decide to leave. It's just so annoying. I almost wanted to take Atty Ladia's Corpo Class just for the hell of it. I know I'm a 100% sure flunk (I'm neither psychologically nor intellectually prepared to take on Corpo yet).

I don't know. Baring a Deus Ex Machina Bail-Out. I have a bad feeling this sem is going down the tubes.

Anyway, please pray for me. Pray that this is just some stupid hormone imbalance brought about by too much caffine and Sappho juice. Pray that tommorow I'll be fine, I don't have time to be annoyed, I don't have time to be pissed, I certainly have no time to feel sorry for my self.

All I have time for is to moot, and if I have a little extra-left try to study for my Exteremely Burdensome 10-unit load!

Kyrie Eliason

Starbucks, Sykes and My new home (aka Nov 13, 08)

2008-11-14T09:54:00.000-08:00

Funny things happen when you hang around school for too long.

13 Nov 08, Happy Birthday Day Izelle! I went to UST to scout the competition, for some reason security at UST was really lax, must be because it is the start of a new semester. After donning my faux commerce disguise I got all the way to the school of Civil law and shot the breeze with my friends who were talking up law there. I actually didn't learn much except that UST was sending a better team to IHL than they did to CVC. If nothing else they are better prepared this time.

Nitz, the place where copyright goes to die a miserable death (along with my wallet)
Two copies of the Porfi notes cost P1550. Damn it was a good thing I had some money when I went there. Too bad we lost the bill it would have been nice if we got Arellano to foot the bill on that one.

After that it was a late lunch with Kiev (sorry I came all the way from work and I had to do that silly segway) she was in somewhat better spirits today. Perhaps because she finally got a decent nights sleep? I admire her tenacity co'z she's already studying for Wills [despite not having met her teacher yet].

I went to school for no other reason than to see my 4th Adding form denied (well partially denied 1 subject added two denied). At least I'm climbing from 10 units on Oct 28 to my current total of 16 Woohooo!!!

Of course I had to hang around and *ahem* disturb people. Of course I had to see Kucil and whine (yes Kucil I'm sorry I'm such a whiner lately but this enrollment bit is getting really oppressive!) about my 4th set of denied subjects. Of course I had to go bug Jemz and feed her paranoia (sorry Jem, you know you are my friend and that I care about you but sometimes I just really have to be mean :P ) . Oh and if u read this, latest news tells us Atty Danny Uy declined to teach in your class. Damn I'm so mean to you lately.

Kucil was supposed to go to Starbucks after performing her motherly duties to Foresnic including the pacification of an irate Sophomore who REALLY just wants to carry a full load this sem! and picking up some books from the ISS.

That started a series of um.. fortunate events? [take that lemony snicket!]. One thing lead to another and before you know it we were at Starbucks at Sykes Q.Ave near Edsa. Kiev after some miscommunication joined us.

We had our usual coffee while Kiev went to Ministop. I bet that was the last time she considered Sharksfin and Pork fried dumplings a meal.

I don't know if those two were just being paranoid or I was just being too complacent. They were already studying Criminal Law and Wills respectively while I was just bumming around obsessing over my damn Three-Year Plan and how fate is conspiring to rob me of it. In my defence, I had neither my Laptop nor any meaningful books with me at the time.

Between trying to study we were also making plans. You know what? I really enjoy thier company. From the impossible to the plausible we started to chart the future of ALFG.

Kucil and I have been together since the CVC law debates. I can't for the life of me figure out why we aren't sick of each other yet. But that's the way it is. Despite our different backgrounds we share many principles. We won't be driving around in our fathers' car nor will we be flaunting our mothers' money. For that I respect her, in many ways she is a self-made woman. [As I am].

She's probably the first person in Arellano I became close to partly out of necessity, chemistry counts for something in a debate, and partly out of shared ideals and the simple fact we spend so much time with each other.

Kiev, well except for the happy circumstance that we end up in the same FX together or it just happened that we were in the same place at the same time we hardly get to talk much. At least not until Kucil and I dragged her into the IHL moot *Evil Grin*.

Now, at least in theory, she's stuck with me and Hazel for the next two weeks as we battle supremacy in the field of International Humanitarian Law. Sorry hehehe, but I did what I had to do. After all between the three of us (and the new people) we are the future of Forensic. We can't afford to leave our best resources idle and unpolished.

Seriously, since the IHL moot got started we've been able to spend more time together, along with the rest of the crazy crew called ALFG. I must admit Kiev has dispelled a lot of misconcepcions I had about people from the Royal and Pontifical University. Then again I had a lot of misconcepcions about people outside of my sheltered little home along Katipunan.

In a year's time we will be fighting over the bloodied carcass of Kucil's legacy (Kucil is graduating next year), the least I could do is get to know the person before I stab her in the back right? Hehehe... I'm kidding. Kucil's job is tiresome and a heavy burden let others step up to that plate. I just want to moot.

Believe me Kiev can dream BIG! Miss kaayo I am behind you 100%! I'll only say this now (owing to fatigue and the alternative circumstance of being under the influence) but Semper Fidelis.

I wrote down our plans (and promptly lost the notebook) wondering what portion of our dreams will become reality. Well dreams are free.

Yikes, the end of the day was a bit odd, I told Kucil my house was two blocks from Burger King, (I meant two LOOONG blocks) in the end they saw the condo were me and my family hold thier domicile. Oh boy scary... now the Arellano people know where I live :))

At the end of the day, I missd 1/2 day of work, I didn't get to visit my bestfriend on her birthday, I STILL lack subjects, AND I STILL DO NOT FEEL THE URGENCY of the new semester dawning upon me.

Yet at the end of the day I was very happy, twice heartened that though my new home is not perfect, it is a home I can call my own.

The cracks in the vessel of our being are hardly noticable because everyone else is a flawed vessel and we are too busy making the most of our imperfect circumstances to nitpick and dennigerate others for thier "imperfections."

I no longer reside in the Ivory Tower.

I am part of the living world. I am Dasein, I am at peace.
====
I'm sorry Izelle, I thought I was gonna be busy doing work on your birthday that's why I greeted you the midnight before. Instead, well I just told you what I've been doing. I'm sure you will approve right?

To whom it may concern,

2008-11-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

To whom it may concern,

I'm here for you. You know that right?

You know it behooves me to see you suffer. Worse when you must suffer in silence, alone in the dark with only the shadows for sympathy.

There are many reasons why I am here, why I chose as I did. You are one of them.

Yes, though the world sees an everjoyful Francis it hasn't exactly been all fun and games for me either. But I can endure, so can you but would it not be easier if you'd allow to lift some of your burdens from you?

If I had the power to sweep away all your pains I would have already done so. But since I can't, what I can do for you by the grace of God I will do.

I am here for you, If you need my help just ask for it and it will be forth coming.

You don't have to be alone.

Why? Because I'd like to think we're friends and I care about my friends.

Litany Against Fear

2008-11-14T09:19:00.000-08:00

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

-Frank Herbert

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. fear is but a mortal emotion that weakens the resolve and wanes ones composure. It is nothing. All that need be done is to face it.

To say I do not fear is hypocrisy, but my fears (most of them at least) I have learned to face. For example, I used to be afraid of people so I joined ASIL and later ALFG (Both of which train people for public speaking). Fear still tugs at my heart everytime I am made to stand before the crowd to deliver some new jibber-jabber but I know deep down that I have conquered this fear. I know that so long as my head is clear it can not take hold of me.

Your fears are justified, our foes are amongst the best in the country. With the exception of an arrogant few the others will be sending the best they have. I dare not claim to be the best but we were chosen, hinirang tayo that my dear must count for something.

My advice to you and myself is to give it everything we have. So long as we have done our best, I will regret not the result

Fear will only make you apprehensive, fear is infectious, fear is nothing but a figment of the imagination. Let us allow fear to pass through us and over us. and when it has past only we will remain.

IHL

2008-11-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

To my former anima mundi,

Our plans for IHL are slowly firming up. Resources long thought to be dormant are rising to the challenge. Pretty soon I will again be ready to face the winds of change. Not long from now we will see what my long hiatus has done to my skills. On November 27 The heavens will quake, but justice will be done.

She is a sight to behold. Haze wants this as much, if not more, than I. Well, we are both hungry for different reasons perhaps, but hungry nonetheless.

In the end that's really what matters. The laws and treaties are the same, we may have less access to advanced technology and research materials but we have made more 'creative' use of them. Accent-wise, hey she deals with Aussies I'm stuck with Kiwis this weekend.

This competition will fall to who wants it more. Believe me we want it REALLY bad.

Our little chari vari will open doors long closed. That is something we agree on. It matters not how straight the gate nor how charged with punishment the scroll. We are going to give them something to behold.

Semper Fidelis,

Feanor

P.S. Oh and to the other school? well I'll be eager to meet them again at PLM, the SC if they're lucky.

Saturday,

2008-11-07T00:01:00.001-08:00

This Saturday ALFG will have its first meeting since..... June 21??? LOL

Seriously I've never seen everyone together since then :))

I guess that's what happens when you have a collective of very-determined but very-working individuals who have great love for the craft but have no choice but to work. [Not everyone is born with a silver spoon or has a Trust fund].

Well this should prove interesting.

Our immediate crisis is recruitment. Our best members are graduating or going to be buried in Bar Review subjects next year. Unlike less sanguine organization I don't think we want to dragoon our graduating members to compete (unless we have no choice, right Warren?).

After the wild ride that was last sem, we can dream big again. [I can dream big again]

We need people, who will carry on the legacy.

Would you like to join? I promise it will be fun :D

Round 2

2008-11-05T07:26:00.001-08:00

To Hazel and Kiev

Guess what? The Gauntlet has been throw. As usual other's look down upon us for our (percieved) lack of pedigree. As before they esteem us little.

"Hindi raw threat ang Arellano"

It's up to us to prove them wrong.

May it please the court.

I can feel the my spirit rising in my heart once more. We will prove them wrong.

I Passed, I actually PASSED

2008-11-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

I appreciate that God has been merciful and he allowed me to pass all my subjects. The Three-Year Plan is still on. Thanks be to God.

So much for all the sleepless nights and anxiety that has plagued me. So much for all the plans I made in preparation for the worst.

It seems that the whole semester felt like one long prescient dream. A dream from which I am just now awoken.

The battles of the previous semester are over. It matters not how close I came to the brink and how often I was but one step from the abyss.

It matters not how overlate I realized that I had given so much to my new calling and that Priority One (= Law School) was coming second place so often. Finals was not a happy time because I realized I had so much to make up for. My head bloodied but unbowed in the end God chose to grant me a reprieve.

I rarely make mistakes twice. I promise not to repeat the mistake I made last sem.

I have a dream. I can't quit on it now.

What Can I do?

2008-11-04T09:59:00.000-08:00

To Madam Prime

I don't know if you'll ever read this. But I'll say it anyway.

Thank You for your Trust.

Thank You for your Friendship.

Thank You for your Guidance.

Thank You for Leading us to Victory.

My Heart bleeds for what happened to you. By this time tommorrow my blissful ignorance will be piereced and in all likelihood I suffered the same fate. But what can we do? So intent were we on victory that we did not realize that there was no one to catch us after our leap of faith.

Barring some sort of Deus ex machina bail out I guess this it.

The only difference between us is I'm Res Judicata. I'm going to stick it out. I have a three-year plan and I intend to stick with it.

Let justice be done, though the world may perish.

This is what I can do. THIS IS ALL I CAN DO;

My performance on Nov 24 (God willing I can even still moot) will be dedicated to you. And if If IF God choses to bless my dreams of Bacolod, that will also be for you.

[Edit: As of press time things are a little better. Madam Prime is in better spirits and she looks like she's ready to resume the fight.]

Sincerly,

Francis

A second leap of faith

2008-10-31T09:20:00.000-07:00

(My Journal on the CVC law debates is suspended pending renewed inspiration)

After a 1-year hiatus I recently plunged into the world of law school again. And Its been a crazy semester. But its over now.

Now its time to take a second leap of faith.

So here we go second semester.

For the last 48 hrs I've agonizing about two rather related things.

1. My Three Year Plan
2. Well... something related to my three year plan.

Three-Year-Plan. a.k.a. take the bar in 3 years

Its simple really. Thanks to differences in curriculum and other more 'amusing' circumstances. I restarted my quest for the bar 13 units behind (Persons, Labor Rel, Ethics and PIL). Thanks to an oversight on my part, plus the idea that I had to adjust first, I only enrolled 19 units last sem.
So now I'm 14 units behind my 3 year plan.

Why is my three-year-plan feasible?

1.) Arellano is very generous with scheds. I can take some subjects virtually anytime I want.
2.) Two summers at 6 units a pop = 12 units. That means I only need 2 more units overload whenever I feel like it.
3.) This means 20 units per sem + one 2-unit overload (if possible this sem na!) and the summers = the Three-year-plan is achieved.

Why would the plan be difficult?
1.) I'm working - while it's not (always) an 8-5 job. It is still work, 20 units while working is insane.
2.) ALFG - I gave my word. I'm committed to making the most of the opportunities that Forensic will give. That means.. Basta Nov 24-28 depending on what happens there. Further dreams might bloom.
3.) Pressumption of Regularity? - this is law school, failing is a clear and present danger

Why do I even have a crazy three year plan

1.) Age - I'm one of those crazy purists with thier misguided belief that life begins after the bar. From what I've seen here. LOL... The Arellano people have a life do you?
2.) Batch - I'm ADMU BS LM Batch 2006. I'm already a year delayed as it is.
3.) My Lola - I have an 80 year-old grandmother. I promised her I'd become a lawyer. Somehow doing it within her lifetime lends me a sense of urgency.

Final assesment - Rushing past law school might be a bad thing. might not have enough time to prepare for the bar. But that's my problem. I want to finish in three years. I just need to work harder to make it happen.

Ergo Sum, I'll be taking a full load + (if I got unlucky in some subjects), I'll be working, and as Hazel laconically put it. "We're out to whoop ass". [Regretfully, I'm fresh out of bravado right now. co'z it's Nov 1 and I have to commemorate my honored dead]

Now where's the memorial? I need to write my speach!

"Madam President, we will please the court!"

P.S. about that second one? PuRE AgOnY but largely self-inflicted.

The CVC Square off Law Debates. (Part 1)

2008-10-22T10:53:00.001-07:00

THE BEGINING

A leap of faith

"Francis you'll part of our debate team sa ANC!" said Hazel on June 24 ,2008. "Kucil will tell you more."

Then and there, without pomp or heraldry I was initiated into the world of varsity debate.

The day before the Arellano Law Forensic Guild was supposed to have a meeting to decide who we were going to send.

The weekend before I was standing in front of the Forensic having my try-outs answering questions like "Are you a Republican or a Democrat?", "Is Bush's invasion of Iraq justified?" and my personal favorite that day "So you think the government should not negotiate with terrorists? even if they threaten to kill Ces Drillon?"

BTW my answer to that last one: Yes, they shouldn't negotiate, you're just making thier criminal act pay. It's going to encourge them to keep kiddnapping journalists knowing that they will get paid for it. Let them behead her for all I care may be that will prevent others like her from dealing with these people for a scoop.

Appologies to Ces, but if you play with fire don't expect me to feel sorry for you if u get burned.

BBTW I liked the try-outs becaue I learned that I could still rely on my background in international law and I could still think on my feet. It boosted my self-confidence.

Being a bit of a pessimist, and not hearing from Hazel till the middle of the week, I expected the worst, ala; "I'm sorry Francis but we have decided not to admit you into the Arellano Law Forensic Guild " Little did I know that I was about to be thrown from the pan into the flames.

For the record I'd been in school for just 3 days when I "try-ed out" following a hiatus of almost 1 year. I was still having doubts if (assuming I ever had one)I still had my "Legal mind". Adjustment was the name of the game. Competing against the best law schools in the Philippines was the last thing on my mind.

Obviously I wanted to beg out of that commitment. I was grossly inexperienced. I wasn't ready! In fact here is a list of all the debates I ever joined:

In AHS

Class debate (4M) for our 4th year english class, Librt {I think it was something about abortion) c. 2001. I lost because our teacher hates me :P (bitter)
Class debate (4M) for our 4th year english class, Librt (I don't remember) c. 2002. My team won and I was best speaker. (I had my revenge!)

But then remember this was in High School. as you all know high school debates tend to degenerate into screaming matches where you try to browbeat the opponent into conceding that you're right and they're wrong.

In Loyola Schools

Media Law Class Debate, Librt: (Must have been something about media law) October 2005. It was Jonathan, Isda and me against 3 intelligent girls who all eventually went to law school. Needless to say they turned us inside out!!!

In ALS

Hamon interyear Debate, sponsored by what was then known as the St. Thomas Moore Debate Society, Librt: Elective Officials should have additional requirments for holding office. It was Bubba, Angel and me against a trio of vetran 3rd year law debaters from STM. The result? Despite Angel Aguinaldo's evident skill and our team's fighting spirit, it was a gala massacre. The third years were citing laws and jurisprudence we had never even dreamed off.

If any of you remember the mess I made that day did you think I could ever become a debater?

See, so few that I remember all of them. 1 win 3 losses 25% and my last win
came over 6 years ago!!! LOL!

To my credit ASIL trained me to be a mooter, and I believe they did a good job, but moot court and debate are completely different animals. Plus I worked in a couple of call centers (yeah, yeah I worked in a call center so what!?! does that make me any less of a human being?)

But my only real advantage was that my Father talks to me in English and Tagalog is my second language (TSL :P )

I am (relatively) young and (was) inexperienced. There was no way I was the best choice for that team. I had to talk (debate?) my way out of this.

But when I met Kucil in person (For the second time although IMHO it counts as first since our first meeting was during the try outs) she was so convincing and determined that I didn't have the heart to refuse. No wonder she's such as successful medrep.

I knew nothing! Kucil and Warren would have to teach me everything from the ground up. I think that helped me a lot because I had no ego going into the contest. I accepted thier corrections and suggestions with becoming humility because they knew better and I was but a learner.

Square-Off would be my OJT. Great my OJT was a live fire exercise with real live opponents who shot back and on live Television to boot.

I had less than a week to learn enough about my new trade to at least look convincing as a debater.

Well, Forensic was taking a huge leap of faith. They did not know, or bother to ask, how utterly inexperienced I was and how dismal my previous debating experiences were. I guess a leap of faith deserves another. Like I said on ANC "I'm a freshman, but if they my team thinks I'm ready then I must be!"

Later I found out that Hazel and Kiev were sent to compete at Teleradio event on NBN. It was also Kiev's first time to debate in law school. Some how that made me feel a lot better about myself co'z I wasn't alone.

Next: San Sebastian vs. Arellano: the fairy tale begins

Changes

2008-10-22T10:16:00.001-07:00

The only constant thing is change. Well sure enough I was ripe for a few blows of the delta aoulis. The winds of change really hit me hard lately.

Hm, actually I don't feel like writing anything much right now. I just wanna talk about us playing with our new laptops =>>>>

First time? =))

Well that and how thankful I am for the change.

I have a new home now. It's called Arellano Law and I'm proud to call it my own.

Here people don't judge you by the brand of your shoes, Being a working student is the norm, and you don't have to be a Scion to be accepted.

I have a new family now (without prejudice to my old one). It's called the Arellano Law Forensic Guild.

I want to thank them (and strangle them) for throwing me into the fire so soon. Thank you for having faith in me and I hope I fulfilled your expectations.

There's two of them right now. Yes we were goofing off playing with the camera of our (hard) won laptops.

The floating face is Kucil our mother, though she'll never accept the adage since she's only 24, and President. It was by her will that our ANC Square off coup was possible. She's in 4th year now and I don't know what we'll do without her.

The charming lass in pink is Kiev, like me (before the ANC thing) she's untested and an unknown x-factor, who knows what she's capable of. Well we'll soon find out. I'm curious about how well she'll do because like me she's gonna have her trial by fire with virtually zero preparation. and if my case be the precedent, then Forensic is in good hands.

Then of course there's me. Hopefully we can get more pics of the others soon.

Judging by the way things are going. Those few short hours we spent at MMS was my sembreak. Its time to hit the books cause the drums of war are beating again.

Foresnic Guild aside, I'm back on track to achieving my dreams and only time will tell if I'll be found worthy or wanting when the time comes. Yet my hopes are high and (I pray) my time is neigh.

Ad majorem dei gloriam

P.S. Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus means = Let Justice be done though the world may perish, c'mon guys you know how much I love Desideratic latin phrases.